Arranged Marriages: Life changing event with full commitment

It is said that marriages are made in heaven but are celebrated here on earth. Though an arranged marriage may feel like a pre-historic concept, but such matches are still prevalent in society.

“It was against all scientific reason for two people who hardly knew each other, with no ties at all between them, with different characters, different upbringings, but suddenly find themselves committed to live together, to share two destinies that perhaps were fated to go in opposite directions.” The idea of promising to spend one’s entire life with another person is nothing short of daunting, but when the right pair crosses paths, the result can be outstanding.

Though meeting a stranger for marriage can make anybody feel nervous. A first meeting is the most crucial time because that would make you shortlist the right one. Some nervousness before an arranged marriage meeting is perfectly normal. At a meeting about an arranged marriage, you’ll be discussing some life changing matters.

The most important thing you want to know is –will the partner be committed to you and your family? Will he/ she accept you as you are? Your life partner should be someone with whom you can share interests and who encourages your independence. As with any relationship, friendship is the key. Good communication from the beginning will help ensure that yours is a lasting, loving partnership. Perhaps, it might be very interesting to know each other’s characteristics, each other’s little life stories of childhood, teenage etc.

A relationship cannot grow if there is no mutual consent and understanding from both the parties. Nobody is perfect on this earth. Everybody has certain drawbacks. But if you really want to make your marriage a success you should accept that person with his or her faults and weakness. If we can accept a person the way he or she is, then only we can live a happy married life. The real success of marriage lies in love, respect, concern, empathy and loyalty for each other which arrange marriage gives for sure.

According to research, those in arranged marriages i.e partner chosen for them by a parent or matchmaker – tend to feel more in love as the time grows. And within some years, the connection felt by those are said to be around twice as strong. This means they are more likely to be committed for life – and to stick together through the rocky patches.

Relationship experts claim this is because arranged matches are carefully considered, with thought going into whether potential partners’ families, interests and compatible life goals.

Since these relationships are chosen by family members, so firstly it seems that they are built on a set of moral values and beliefs. Secondly, a certain level of equality is achieved in these unions. Here, equality comes to education, finances and traditional values. Since families do the matching, they tend to go for partners who are of equal stature, financially fit. Third reason for positive outcomes in arranged marriages is the expectation level of participants. The expectations from each other at the relationship’s outset are lower.

Relationship experts explored two rather interesting and reliable statistics related to Indian arranged marriages. The first is that Indians have an astonishingly low divorce rate. Despite doubling in urban areas since 2007, only about 1 In 100 Indian marriages end in divorce. This is one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. Even more impressive is the second statistic, about the high levels of satisfaction reported by those in arranged marriages over longer-term.

Marriage is not just coming together of two individuals. To sustain a marriage it is important that there is effort from both sides, and then only a marriage can carry on. A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients are love, commitment, understanding, concern and togetherness. If you can include these aspects in your married life you can find happiness in your marriage. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” We can conclude  “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate “and the right mate is someone who wouldn’t mind waking up  in the morning, seeing the other in wrinkles and grey hair out  but still falls in love all over again.

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